trophy life

i was interviewed for a show on RTM this morning. don't be impressed, the show was on breakfast in KL and i was picked because i am white and round. the woman who was producing the show sat and talked to me afterwards, one of the things we discussed was how people show themselves to the world. this reminded me about asking why malaysians are so focused in brand items. the fascination with watches, bags, cars and sunglasses is something i don't understand. especially, given the fact that all of these items are outrageously overpriced when compared to buying them outside of the land of datuk protectionist taxes.

i sit in cafes and compare the lifestyles i see in front of me with the financial realities. after three years i have a grasp of the fiscal weight most of the people here live under. they are eating out in cafes priced for expats, driving cars which cost three times more here than they do on the world market, and carry designer bags sold at twice the retail price in the US. but they have salaries which do not support this rock and roll lifestyle.

i watched a movie the other night where a central character was in his childhood bedroom with his future fiancee. she finds the trophies of his youth buried in a draw and asks why he does not display them. he shyly rubs MVP on one of them with his thumb; brushing the dust off, before he closes the drawer. this scene is meant to show that he doesn't view the trophy as achievement because they came to him so easily, but it also shows that he is who he is without needing to remind the world.

the items we collect, those we invest time and effort in having and keeping, provide a window into us. when you look at my spaces you see books. i have them at home and in the office, i will point to a book and discuss the theme. in the virtual world, i do this with my photos and writing, these are the things that are me because i created them. i was there, i saw that image, i had that thought. they are the threads that make up part of the my fabric.

but these things aren't the core of that fabric. they are the items of display, much like the overpriced designer bags and gaudy watches that are the rage here. they are not the things that i consider a victory worth being proud of.

i realized this morning that "boxing day" is for choosing which items will stay on display and which you will put into the closet. as the year closes, you have new things to show-off and others to put away so they don't take up space on the shelves. when you look at my shelves in addition to my books you see polytheistic statues from trips around asia and pictures of my family.

central on the shelves, and within me, are the moments captured in the pictures. a few days ago i realized i have not changed the pictures in three years. they are the same images i displayed when i first got here. i have new pictures of "my family", but i have no new "family" pictures. my family are the trophy's of my life. they are the things that give me identity and make me proud of who i am. this is why i give then center stage.

but like the trophy's in the movie they are collecting metaphorical dust. theses pictures are of a past which is slipping away. i travel and capture "the faces of the world". it's a project i love, and work i am happy with.  its also something i never thought i would have the chance to do. i never thought i would make the choices needed, even if i did have the chance.

trophies traditionally represent success, success that brings later opportunity. but, sometimes opportunity also comes from failure. the opportunities i have taken have been to photograph strangers, the opportunity i hope i still have is to take new pictures of my family, and love them as much as i love the ones that they will replace.

these trophies are much more precious than an LV bag; at least to me.