service language

when i got here two years ago i realized quickly that i could completely function in english and would be able to eat without learning a new language. i don’t think this would be the case in other parts of south east asia, but thankfully malaysia (or is that just KL) carries its british heritage in its language base. i have realized this has begun to change.

the first indication of this was in the bakery i visit on my way to the office. the staff was originally all malaysian. they were was a mix of malay, chinese and chin-dian staff members who were fun and interesting to talk to. over the past two years, the staff has gradually changed to 100% burmese. along with the changes has come a difference in tone with the staff. they are no longer smiling and open, there is a shyness that could be a lack of comfort in english or the fact their country is a dictatorial regime that beats buddhist monks for marching in the streets.

the next was in the café i go to on weekends for the much loved blueberry pancake. the staff was again a mix of chinese, malay and indian staff, all local kids who were again open and fun to talk to. there was recently a new group of indian kids hired but they seemed different. they again were quieter. i realized they were less capable of communicating well in english. when i tried to use bahasa they were completely stumped, which confused me because my accent has gotten much better. i then found out they were sri lankan, and spoke no bahasa.

the last was a new place that opened, it looks and feels like US based restaurant and is open late so i can go there after the office to have a quick bite or just to be around people before going home. there are locals working there, but they also use a large number of burmese and indonesians. the trend appears to be to use foreign staff in roles that are supporting. not as table service, but to deliver food and clear. as the staff gets comfortable they are integrated into the customer service aspects.

this is really not a new element of restaurant service here. the mamak places use tamil staff in the same way. when they here longer, and thier english/bahasa improves, they are given more customer service also. so these other places are following a long used method of staffing. but it is one thing to go to mamak and have tamil speakers serving you, and another to go to a western restaurant, one catering strongly to expats (or those who emulate expats) and have staff who can not speak to you.

don’t misunderstand me, i like the cultural diversity. i love the language diversity; learning is one of my favorite things about being here. but needing to learn two more languages to get more caffeine is a challenge, is tagalong and cambodian next? besides, the real issue is that the staff is less comfortable and it shows in the service. i like to talk to staff, to make them smile and to let them know that i appreciate the help and the effort. how can i do this if we can’t communicate?

the real question i have is why is malaysia going outside the country to find staff. are there not enough young people in this country who need jobs? what about those kids who are mat rampit on saturday night? why are they not serving tables? i learned work ethic by doing almost every job a restaurant can offer. for a country that would seriously benefit from more jobs, and more tourism, malaysia does not appear to understand that restaurant service is a professional job that people can make a career. or, that will prepare them for a different career, you know like software consulting.

i tell people malaysia is like aruba, i mean the weather of course. but the people in aruba have been thought two things that would help malaysians. first, the image of the country is set with every interaction with visitors. in aruba, you can feel the desire to make you comfortable and happy while you are there. the second is that language matters, all locals are taught 4 languages in school, they are fluent in english, dutch, spanish and papiamento (a regional language much like bahasa). imagine malaysia if all people spoke the english, arabic, mandarin and bahasa. imagine the number of tourists who could come here and get great service anywhere in the country; assuming that service also becomes valued.

again, i don’t mind, because as of today i can say, “taval coffee aka, esthuthi”, which will get me one more coffee when i am in columbo. now i just need to learn that in burmese.

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note: i asked about this while i was writing, there is no labor cost savings, but by going outside the company is able to lower attrition, as retention built into the contract. malaysias do not see F&B as a career role (which is really sad), and are role fickle so retention of is important. the later is true in both restuarants and software.

one more

i was asked by my boss a few months ago if i thought of myself as a workaholic. we were sitting at a table full of guys who work hours, carry pressure and make or execute decisions that burn out many of the former superstars that our company hires each year. the guys around the table are friends, associates, competitors and critics. there is not a single slacker in the bunch, if they were they would not have gotten here or lasted. i answered the question; partially.

a few weeks ago the same boss brought the same team together and said thank you for your efforts last year. we were happy to be able to give you all the cash and stock bonuses that you received two days before. then, the conversation turned to the remaining 10 months of the year. the basic message was, you need to do better, you need to work harder, you need to be more aggressive and provide more leadership. taking a group like this and saying you are not pressing hard enough could seem like a strange message to send. but it worked, things have picked up.

i have been called a workaholic most of my adult life. i don’t really see it that way, but others look at me and tend to sit back and tell me that if i don’t slow down i will never make it to the end of the race. how can you work 60 hours a week, have what reasonably should be two jobs at once and continue to push week by week? how can you do this and not suffer from it?

the trick for me is to never do i job i don’t enjoy. once something stops being fun i leave and find something that is. once i lose the passion to get up and get to the office, or to send that “one more” email that leads to another and another, i simply decide its time to be happy again. family rule number two comes into play and you need to make the call.

i was talking to my ex-wife this morning; she has obviously seen me at my best and worst over the years. she saw me grow a company, win contracts, deliver on projects that no one thought we could accomplish and finally walk away from it all. she has seen me push past the point where i should have broken, she has seen me where i was broken and yet i continued to work. she told me working until 6:30 AM this morning and getting back up at 10:30 was not worth it. it is.

during the meeting a few weeks ago i decided it was time to really take the challenge. if this is what was being asked for, i would give it. i want to succeed, because i have promised people that i like i will be there for them. i have shown them a possible future, now its time to make it really happen. the previous 60+ hours was not enough, it was clear that was true. that only gave me 30 hours per job, and in this environment 30 hours at your job is openly slacker behavior.

i am now working 90+ hours a week, spending about 15 - 16 hours a day in the office, going home and checking email before going to bed, waking up and checking email before i go to work. i am working during the weekend, on things that previously would have stacked up until mid week or later, they are now done by monday morning letting me focus on the work of the week. i have done more phone calls (with people on three continents) in one day than i used to do in a week. its working, with more immediate direction people have been able to move faster and mistakes have been averted.

i have been told by multiple people that i need to cut back, but honestly i feel better than i have in a year. i am more organized, more things are getting done, i am directly involved in almost all the work my staff is doing. i can feel it paying off; i am enjoying the success that comes with being able to cover both jobs fully. it's not hours that burn someone out, it's the realization that you can't succeed.

when i was asked if i was a workaholic, i replied “no…” and before i could finish the sentence, my bosses head was turned to talk to someone else. i thought i saw a glimmer of disappointment at my answer as his head turned; clearly being a workaholic was valued. the rest of the answer was “… i am not a workaholic because i love my job and i am not doing it for the money; i am doing it for the satisfaction”.

i feel more like the mom that stays up late to wash clothes so her kids can have them in the morning. she works while they sleep. that’s what you do for your kids… isn't it?

wet soup

one of the great things about malaysia is the food culture. having cheap, good tasting and simple food here only takes finding the local mamak or hawker stand. going out and for a quick dinner of chicken satay, sup ekor (thai style oxtail soup with chili padi) and apple juice is easy. it's just as easy as finding grilled seafood, dim sum, sushi, chicken rice, pizza, waffles, chinese/malay/indon fried-rice or italian style pastas. for me, getting any of these only means running down to the near by expat/hawker place full of small stalls in an open air settings.

although even in paradise you can run into issues if you are not careful. tonight was satay and soup night. as i got ready to go out the door, i decided to slip on sneakers, this is the first time i have worn then out in months. because they dry immediately, i normally have on croc sandals (called slippers here). it has been raining all day, but it was nice and clear as i looked out the patio door, so why not do something different.

i made the 3 minute drive down to the hawker stands, and luckily found parking right on the street. as i got out, i thought of the rain again and considered taking my umbrella from the backseat. again, i decided against it. the massive storm earlier in the day was over, there was no way it could rain again. the skies had emptied just two hours before, complete with amazing lightning shows, and it now looked clear. safe to walk a block down the street and have a quick meal.

i am sure you see where this is going. 10 minutes later, i am sitting under a roof, with empty tables around me. i had taken a covered table just in case; most people were out in the open air. as i paid for soup, the last of my order to be delivered to the table, people started to scramble under the roof quickly filling all the other tables. the rain i was so sure was not going to happen was about to start; i knew by the sound of it down the street. i used to sense coming rain by random drops lightly touching my skin, now it’s the roar of torrential downpours marching towards me.

as i finished eating with a half soaked table, the wind picked up and people continued to push tables more tightly together. closeness was to avoid the wind driven drops from drowning their table, their food and themselves. as people jammed in more tightly, it was as though the rain was reaching further in to touch the hiding tables. i moved my table in closer to the one next to me, the chinese kid there smiled with camaraderie created by avoiding the storm.

as i finished my meal, my table was fully wet, my shirt was damp on the back and there was no more room to squeeze in. the rain was still pouring, thunder was in in the distance and i needed to make the decision on waiting it out or walking in the pouring rain. the thought of that umbrella in the back seat made me smile. the fact that the rain had taken out the satellite service for the liverpool game that was just about to start, helped the decision. if there was football on the projection screens i would have stayed, without it time to go. no use running, i was fully wet as soon as i moved from the covered table.

in the car, soaked to the bone, thinking i had not been out in rain like this since the bali christmas monsoon. i was just glad i had leather seats. if not, my car would smell like a wet dog for the next few days.

back home i realized how nice it is to be in the topics. the floors never have rugs to worry about getting wet, the windows can be open with cool breeze blowing in even during the worst of storms and once you hang your clothes up you are warm and dry in minutes.

even torrential rain storms and flooded streets don’t stop malaysia from huddling together under a roof and enjoying cheap, easy, simple meals with smiles. getting soaked doesn’t stop an american from understanding that this is one of the best things about being here.

even better if you learn to enjoy the rain as much as the soup.

redacted kingdom

i have watched two movies about amerians in the middle east in the past few weeks. the first movie i thought was balanced on all fronts and was something people on all sides should see. it did show americans and arabs killing each other, but there was not only a reasonable message, but was obviously designed to show all sides fairly. the second movie also had a message, but it was clearly created from a biased political viewpoint and in the end is a film i fear muslims will watch.

the first of the films is “the kindgdom” by director peter berg. the basic story revolves around a terrorist attack on an expat compound in saudi arabia. the attack kills a large number of americans and saudis, and both countries begin investigations. jamie fox leads a small FBI team, which goes to collect evidence and track the killers down. the team is blocked before and when in the country, but as the story unfolds, it becomes clear that even the locals are having a hard time doing a real investigation.

this film does have the requisite car chases, gun fights and smart dialogue. but the reason i enjoyed the film so much was the scenes which were not required for the genre and which provide much of its impact. there are scenes which show us the simple home lives of muslims, both of the terrorists and the family of the saudi police colonel we come to deeply respect as the film unfolds. you see the love and respect of the muslim family, and you clearly understand that these are people who have lives built on family and faith. the scene of the father praying with his son, and then helping do his homework is simply touching.

in the end, i left the film with a better picture of life in arabia. i live in a muslim country, and have muslim friends for whom i deeply care. as i watched the film, i hoped that americans at home watched it also and came to understand that islam and terrorism has no more of a required connection than does christianity and terrorism (there is a much longer history of catholics persecuting other faiths, or non-catholic christians than of muslim terrorism). i also hoped that muslims would see the film and understand that americans are not inherently evil, although we are different.

the tagline of this film is “trust no one”. i find this ironic, because trust is what the core relationships in the film is based on. it is also what i was left with as the film ended. an ending with one of the best closing lines i have ever seen.

the second film is “redacted”, a brian de palma film which to be honest i disliked on many levels, thinking many times why am i watching this. the story re-tells, in pseudo-documentary format, an event ending in the true killing of an iraqi family. the deaths were part of a rape of a 14 year-old girl by drunk american soldiers.

there is a clearly a biased view in this film. it is not well made, with bad acting, dialogue and filming, but it is also slanted and tries to make the war look unfair in all dimensions. it also portrays american troops as poorly trained and lacking of discipline; neither of which are true. there is even a scene where a soldier's head is cut off by terrorists, in the context of the movie the brutal slaying is very close to being acceptable and justified.

the tagline for this film is “truth is the first casualty of war”, i also find this to be ironic. the film is based on fact, but facts were changed to suit the message. at no point is it made clear that 5 soldiers who were involved in the real incident, including one that did not participate and later came forward to tell the military what had happened, were charged with murder and rape. it also never said that none of the real soldiers were ever taken by terrorists, and that the images at the end of the film and labeled as “actual photos” include images from the movie, photos of actors not dead iraqis.

this film upset and scared me as much as the kingdom gave me hope. if we simply make propadaga films, and have them to look like footage of an unfolding event, what will some angry youth do with these images. the brutality was real, and needed to be punished, but where is the movie that explains why the iraqis are fighting? or, how this could cause even the best trained and led army in the world to have any soldiers who commit atrocity? where is the truth that shows that when criminal acts do occur by soldiers, they are arrested and tried for the crimes?

truth can be a casualty, and you need to know who to trust. but, of these two films i hope only one is ever seen by muslims i run into on the street. more importantly i hope redacted is never seen by the families of my friends.

the kingdoms implied message of “if we allow anger to build on anger, more death, suffering and brutaility will follow” is preferable to “americans should be punished” message of redacted.

over flowering

i was driving last night and a couple crossed in front of the car. they were a smart looking chinese couple, obviously out on a saturday night date. both were dressed well and he was holding her hand as they crossed the street. they were both smiling and happy, as i stopped to let them cross, she smiled up at him, and snuggled into him as though saying, thank you for protecting me and caring enough to hold my hand as we cross.

this made me think of another couple i had seen, valentine’s night i was sitting in a restaurant and many couples, obviously on valentine’s dates, were coming and going. there were many men, almost all chinese carrying flowers as they walked with their women. that is sweet, normally in the US the man will give the flowers to their date when they pick them up, and allow the date to carry them the rest of the night. the idea of a man carrying flowers i guess does not seem masculine enough, although carrying them for your date is obviously the gentlemanly thing to do.

as i sat there, one young chinese guy walked by with a huge bouquet of flowers. it was bright and colorful, a mix of roses and carnations. but the thing that stuck out was the vast size of the bouquet; he seemed to have trouble holding it. this was clearly a sign that his date was someone he felt the need to splurge on, and by the smile of the woman with him, she seemed to appreciate the sentiment.

both events made me question where this attention goes. i enjoy giving flowers, and holding hands, sending an sms to just say hello. i enjoy it and i miss it when i do not have the chance to do it. but there have been times when i know i should have done it and one thing or another has stopped me. i honestly wish i could go back and send those flowers right now, not as a way to ask for something, but to show that i did care, and that i still do.

i wonder if these two chinese guys will get these women to believe in them and will get married. will they start a life together and will they slowly stop to do these nice things. will there be a time in the future where the first guy simply walks across the street and does not hold her hand with such attention and caring? worse, will he be one of the guys who let the wife carry all the bags as he walks ahead with his hands empty?

for the second guy will the bouquets shrink slowly? will they get to a level where they simply look average and later shrink to a single flower until eventually they stop all together? the alternative is that they simply stop quickly and are dismissed as a part of the early dating, which was where this couple clearly was. the size of the flowers was simply out of proportion to the event, or maybe smacked of desperation. (just my jaded side showing through?)

as we date, are we not showing someone how we promise to continue to act towards them? if we do attract someone with purchases of presents, flowers, meals or trips, or just by paying attention to them and showing that we care, is there not some form of implied contract that as we continue on, the effort will continue? of course the truth is yes. but, people will disagree and say no. they do that because they know most people do not keep the energy levels up, they slow down over time. once someone is caught do you need to keep chasing?

i think that’s it exactly. once you have the race won, how many of us continue to push as hard as we can all the way to the finish. sad all by itself, but if you start with such high energy; you really should be able to sustain something as time passes. it is outright fraud if you go from being an “over-flowerer” to never bringing flowers and fraud is a reason someone gets fired isn’t it. if you promise to work hard, you need to continue to work hard. if you don’t, someone else is out there who will.

dating on your best behavior is of course part of the game. but if someone doesn’t like you for the real you, is that really the person you want to be with? imagine finding the person who really does like all sides of you. if someone says they do, look for parts they want/need to change. when there are none, then they really do like you for you.

but remember, if you later change, if you become someone other than the person they like, well… why would you expect them to keep liking you?

plant all the flowers you want. but, if you neglect them and allow weeds to grow and takeover, the flowers will die. you will not have the idyllic garden, you will have a troubled spot that no one would want to be in. when you plant flowers, it’s your job to take care of them. the more you plant the more work it will be. imagine planting all those beautiful flowers and later saying, let's pour gravel over it so we don’t need to work like this anymore. (do you remember saying you did it because you liked to do it?)

gravel is good for a parking lot, but is that the relationship you really want? and if it is, bring gravel to the first few dates, see where that gets you.