social issues like whether or not you hug, or even touch, a member of the opposite sex before you get married is one thing. but the small issues, the little things, the minor food items are the things that someone away from home really misses. one of my friends here just moved to california, he is begging me to send him sambal, he likes the weather, the people and most food, but he needs more spice than america usually offers on it's table.
i started to make a list in my head the other day of the things i missed. the first that came to mind was simply being anonymous. in the US or europe, no one notices me, i can move about my life and no one really looks at me or things twice as i move by them. that is not the case here. i stand out in the crowd, i am big, bald and loud. i say hello and thank you to people, even those that most others simply ignore or take for granted. i wear pastel colors and i make a lot of eye contact. in the US i am one of the crowd, here i feel like i am an exhibit. i have gone into a restaurant and been served by a random waitress , as i finished ordering she said thank you mr.
beyond things like that, i miss eating and drinking without considering the feelings of people around me. i know its normally acceptable here to eat or drink what you like, but its also common to take things into consideration. in the US i have friends who are muslim, hindu and kosher jewish, or simply vegetarian for no religious reason. what either one of us eats when we are together never becomes an issue. we simply bring or order what we want and we eat, one person’s restrictions are not important to the other. for me, liberty is not needing to consider if the someone else is offended by your lunch choice.
as long as we are talking about food, i miss finding all kinds of food all over the place. malaysia does have international food in KL (or specifically in the expat areas of KL), but try to find a taco place outside of these areas (or inside, if you know of one please let me know). if you go 30 minutes outside of KL, i challenge you to find a place that serves anything but malay, mamak/indian or chinese food. even when you do find a place serving non-local food, it is never close to the original. example last weekend when we were working and sent someone out to lebanese place for chicken kebabs, he came back with chicken, tomato, lettuce and a chili sauce on a mexican tortilla. i promise you, that is nothing like the delicious kebabs on lebanese breads the little old lady from beirut used to make me in the shop i went to in the US. you can’t say you are a food nation, when all you eat is foods from your dominate ethnic groups, and even those have been localized in a negative way. chicken pepperoni; do you really think that is a good idea?
malaysia’s only embraced foreign food appears to be englis breakfast, a sign to me that you really don’t like anything foreign. a normal breakfast table in the US can have people around it with omelets (french), crepes (dutch), french toast (belgian, called pain perdu), huervos rancheros (mexican) and many drinks based on espresso (italian). we don’t have roti pisang on the table yet, but i promise you, i am going to bring it to the US, and i plan on making it big. i think the thing i miss here is not really the food though, its the openess. we take things and while keeping the wonderful essence of what they are, we incorporate it into our culture and onto our tables. i mean, did the potato chip really need fish flavoring added to it?
the list does go on, as i think of one thing the next comes to mind maybe bullets will help for a few:
- cnn and other openly combative news shows
- google listings of every business in the country
- internet based driving directions
- free parking lots so you don’t get parked in when someone double parks on the road
- traffic police that stop the double or triple parking in the first place
- musicians and other artists on the street
- a real arts scene with large numbers of venues, its sad that http://www.kakiseni.com.my/ is all malaysia can offer.
- free speech and independent news papers
- habeas corpus
- separation of church and state and multiple parties
i also miss about the US is that everyone is welcome all the time. sure we have closed minded racists in the US, but most people really don’t care where you are from or what your religion is, all they want to know is that you wont steal from them, that you want to educate your kids and make a better life for them. if this is who you are than who cares where your parents or grandparents came from or what your skin looks like. you do need to learn english though.
the thing about having one language that everyone is expected to speak all the time is that people do not have side conversations that others can't understand. do you relize its rude to speak in a language that those around you don't know? i am not going to point fingers, but you know you do it and its rude.
i miss not meeting people who think that anything is possible. i miss the can do spirit that helped america go from a tiny colony of religious refugees, dying in a camp a few miles from the island i grew up on, to become the only super-power in the world. our children are taught they can go higher and faster than anyone as ever gone if they try. they are also taught to ask questions when they don’t understand, to not just trust authority figures but to think and decide for themselves; and to fight for what is right, even if an authority figure tells them to simply accept.
i miss walking up to a group, and as their manager telling them to do something, and having one of team leads who works for me simply say, “are you on crack?” without getting mad, i asked if he had a better idea, he did, and we went with his suggestion. that’s what i miss the most, people willing to ask me if i am on drugs when i try to do something dumb. malaysia needs more of that, or it will always be a colony, just one without a colonial master.
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