personal best

i was talking to a friend yesterday. it was a day that we were both taking it slow, getting away from work and just recovering from the past few months. we were discussing work, society, opportunity and design. he wants to take more on, and i want to see him grow. knowing there is potential and that pushing forward will get you there is really important to a type-A personality. during the conversation i started to wonder when it was that i came to the reality that continuing to work even when you are far behind is worth it.

i came up with 7th grade. the year i joined the track team, the time that i learned that you are not running against your competition, but you are running against yourself and the clock. to admit this in the kindest manner possible, i was not a natural runner when i started. i am a swimmer and a cyclist by nature, these are the sports i enjoy. sure both make me wonder if i am going to die at times, being a half mile off shore, with waves breaking over my head and realizing that i am too tired to make it back to the beach does bring the reality of drowning front and center. i haven’t drowned yet, my chest hasn’t exploded climbing a hill, but i do wonder at times.

when i started running track the pain of 440s over and over was brutal. i wanted to quit, i wanted to give up because it was just too much effort for something was supposed to be fun. but i decided to stay one more week. i had friends next to me; they would smile when i crossed the line not laugh, the smiles kept me there. a few weeks later i realized i was getting better, my times were dropping and i was getting ahead of my friends. the ability to improve took the pain away, now the pain was worth it because as i got better the pain came with winning. i learned that winning takes the pain away.

over the years i have done other sports, some i was a natural at they fit my personal mix of size, speed and pain tolerance. i have done individual sports and team sports. i have done sports for myself and for others. i have enjoyed some, and hated a few, but other than wind surfing i have never really given up without trying hard enough to learn to enjoy them. (i can sail, i can surf, i can’t do them at the same time)

the way i have done this is to accept that sure, i suck at this sport. it hurts, and i am not enjoying this right now. but if i give up i will never get good at this. if i keep going i will get a little better than i am now, and i can call that a victory. using the personal best method, i can measure myself and then work to beat that. forget about the other guy, most of the time he is happy he is in the lead and will think it’s his place to own. if i focus on him, i keep losing. if i focus on me… i can win almost every time, until i get to the point where i am closing in, that’s when i can change the focus and make him the personal best goal.

i said yesterday that malaysia needs to have its kids doing track and field. track is a simple sport, cheap as shorts, t-shirt and sneakers; easy to do in warm climates. i had visions of malaysians crossing the finish line in boston; arms up in victory. the nigerians made distance running their sport, they proved that hot and dusty countries that have limited resources and smaller kids who need a sport without contact can excel at track.

i was also thinking the country would benefit from teaching its kids that competition is useful, that pushing through the pain, that being measured by a clock are good things. if you’re not willing to measure yourself, how can you get any better? there is no way to improve against the clock if you don’t have a clock running. being as good as you are, and being happy with that just means that you can never compete outside your little comfortable world.

i listened to my daughter this morning excited that her picture was in the local newspaper. she is on the front-page for swim team. i remember the first season that she swam, long ago in her youth. she wanted to quit because she thought she wasn’t any good. we explained it wasn’t that she needed to be good, it was that she needed to enjoy it. she has grown up over the years, and has moved from lane to lane improving every step along the way. she told me about a race where she was against two swimmers who made regional; she got lapped and came in third but she was happy with that.

she was making a point that the team the two swimmers were from was very good. she said, “do you know their team record for the 500 free?” . i paused and answered, “4:40”. she paused and said, “4:44, how did you know that, you were only off by 4 seconds”. she wanted to know if that was my personal best. i laughed, not even close.

but i used to swim and i know what “good” swimmers can do. i don’t need to beat them, i just need to close the gap.