love actually

it's christmas day in cloudy KL, other than the less than congested parking situation this morning, you would never know it was a special day. i received my first verbal merry christmas from a malay waiter, one who has no idea what the holiday means to the west. i considered going to midnight mass last night, but went for roti cania at my local mamak after the julia child era western restraurant i had dinner in simply did not hit any of the spots i was hoping for. the day is moving along smoothly, brunch of chuck's eggs and espresso will be followed by a massage to release the tension burning in my shoulder and then home to call the kids and watch a holiday movie.

the choice i have for a christmas movie is either a dysfunctional NPR family which is answers why the family is "so special" with "we're not, we are just all we have", and a film built from novella's of love stories that intersects at an arrival gate. the choice here is pretty easy, the NPR family was watched 4 times in 3 days last week. it is a movie that brought me to tears on an airplane three years ago, but now helps me with homesickness. the more foreign movie will get nod this afternoon based on my need to see two people who speak different languages have a conversation that makes sense.

the basic premise of this movie is that arrival gates at an airport represent one of the most wonderful places on earth. they are a location of egalitarian equality, where people of all colors, religions, professions and nationalities stand next to each other and wait for their traveler to come down from the sky and reenter thier lives. they are special places; i have seen almost shy hand shakes between people who should have grabbed each other with passion, children scramble up on to a trolley full of luggage to jump into their fathers arms and normally reserved people picked up and swung with joy.

i walk through airports with the stride of someone who has a frequent flier gold card in my pocket. i know the location of business class lounges, transit counters and preferred coffee locations in 9 timezones. but, i have realized why the love actually moment is a central plot point of the movie i will watch on my KL christmas. it is because the moment of being there when someone gets off an airplane is more about giving than receiving, it's about showing the person you are there for them at the very first moment possible. if it weren't for security gates and machine guns you might have met them at the gate, standing among the queue of welcomers is the best you can do.

the sienfeld moment is when someone asks you for a ride from the airport and you need to construct a reason for not being there. the love actually moment is exactly the opposite. it is about being there early, having sent a welcome sms so they know you have not forgotten them, and then smiling and showing them you care when they do come to you safely. these are moments that matter, and they are the christmas spirit that you can show all year long.

i am going to relax and enjoy my KL christmas. it's a comfortable day, there is no stress or pressure. i have come to terms with the lack of turkey because of the 5 day waiting period that is required when ordering holiday dinner here; normally i associate waiting periods like this with purchasing a handgun, but apparently even restuarants connected to expat grocery stores are not able to plan for the busy matsalleh who does not think about stuffing a week before the the meal. it will not matter, i am going home to watch a movie about an aging rocker, a adolecent drummer, a lonely minister, a blocked writer and a guy who was born in the wrong country.

collectively, they do show that love actually is everywhere.


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the scenes i enjoy the most are those with two people who triumph because they learn to speak each others language. they prove that more than being there, learning to open up and communicate is what matters. well those and when the girl naturally says "f@#$" in front of the prime minister.

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