random things

i know this is out of character for my blog, but people have been sending me these on facebook so i got to thinking about my own list:

• i was conceived on the beach i later worked on
  
• my grandparent’s opposing religious views factored into my existence beyond the first trimester
  
• i once hid under my bed so i didn’t have to go to kindergarten, a full police search was conducted of the area
  
• at six, i ran away from home by climbing out my window; i walked 2 miles to my grandmothers, crossing a highway to get there
• i was asked to leave the cub-scouts because i was an over-achiever; i finished the project and demanded something else to do
• i was late for my first communion mass because i walked myself to church too slowly
• in fifth grade i was a crossing-guard, the US version of a school prefect
  
• my basketball career ended in 6^th grade when i found out i could not go left; not being able to shoot or jump might have been an issue later
  
• i passed algebra and geometry, but learned no math; i did it by inductive reasoning
  
• my worst subject in high school was typing; my teacher told me “whatever you do, don’t take a job that involves typing”.
  
• i was traded off a beach softball team, and put in charge of the keg, when kristin libby came to the game late.  she was the girl i was semi-secretly in love with in elementary school; she was also a much better softball player
  
• i nearly drowned twice as a child; once was the most amazing sensation of my life
  
• i saved all three of my siblings from drowning, my brother needed mouth to mouth; that was the day i decided i should be a lifeguard
  
• i saved four other people as part of the job, one was another member of our staff who tried to do a rescue without a torpedo, i didn’t know it was him until i pulled his unconscious body to the surface
  
• i selected my college because someone told me i wouldn’t be able to get or stay in
  
• i did more work in the first week of college than my entire high school career
  
• a nun in college called me a heretic; she was absolutely right
  
• i very loudly told the same nun she was a bitch in a crowded hallway; i was also right
  
• i have liked strong women since the morning a girl kicked my ass during a swim test; she knew i thought she was weak and made me suffer for it
  
• i graduated in 4 years; but by the end of the first semester i knew i would succeed, so i relaxed and enjoyed school
  
• i accidentally received a dual major from a school that does not give them
  
• i have done the heimlich maneuver three times on choking victims; twice they were complete strangers
• i have destroyed 4 bikes by being hit by cars over the years; i slid a foot from a tractor trailers wheels a few years ago when i crashed my bike during a rain storm
• i was three weeks from the paris island, and my plan to fly helicopters for the marines; when i was crushed by a tractor and broke both legs
  
• i took an accounting job as break from education before law school; coding killed law
  
• i became a software engineer because i didn’t want to be a manager
• i once offered a friends wife my services as a birth partner, he was scared.  i added USD 10,000 to the offer because i wanted the experience; she said no
• i started a consulting company with two partners, bought one out, brought another one quietly in, but i realized i had lost them all so i shut the company down
• our company motto was, “it’s all about the love”
  
• the fastest i have ridden my bike (down-hill) is 62 miles per hour; you should have seen the expression on the face of the driver in the car in front of me
  
• my favorite smells are baby heads and labrador paws; one of them reminds me of smart-food popcorn
  
• i own 5 guitars and can barely play; i keep saying this is the year i will learn
  
• i was happy with my spanish in college, my grades were three D(s) and a C, that C was SWEET!
  
• i want everyone to speak one common language; i am hoping we can agree on spanish
  
• i travel and have complete conversations with no shared language; i later remember it all in english
• i feel more like a european than an american; but i am home when i get to the US
• i am looking for ways to gain dual citizenship within the EU; the irish descendant program failed, ideas are welcome
• i love bruxelles and hope to live there someday; sydney loses only for lack of french speakers
• after living outside the US, i can see why people dislike americans; bad PR
• my grandfather was a member of the PGA and owned a golf course;  i don’t play
  
• i have been in asia for three years and have not been to thailand; i refuse to go alone
  
• having barbeque pulled pork, fresh beer and a dog are the things i miss living in a muslim country
  
• having my kids sleep over is the thing i miss the most about the US
• a nightmare for me would to be without a book; this is much scarier than being naked
  
• i have three hand phones in my messenger bag today; my forth is in my office waiting for me to take it to the US
  
• i tend to buy things in pairs; books i wish i could buy by the pound
• i have three laptops; one for work, one for personal use, and another just for pictures and music, i keep the count stable by giving the kids one when i buy another
  
• i have the best office in our company; it was constructed for the former prime minister of malaysia
  
• i added a video conf, running machine, guitars, computer books, and a pull-out sofa; all of which mahathir didn't have when he sat in here
• my allergies taught me that we crave things that are bad for us; you would think my catholic education would have done that

the fact that these are more or less in chronological order should tell you more about me than anything in the list.