mistakes

have you ever started to do something, thought, “it would be bad if this does not go exactly as planned” but then assured yourself, “no, it will be fine, i will take special care, i will not allow it to go bad, why would i let it”. this is normally where i smile to myself, knowing that mistakes have been made, even after reminding myself not to allow it to happen. this is exactly when mistakes hurt the most, when you were aware, but you moved forward anyway.

i am vacationing with the kids, traveling in europe, showing them the places i have come to love. they have never done the trips we are doing, they had never walked the peaceful and colorful canals of amsterdam, they have never sat on the terrace and enjoyed a drink in belgium or taken a fast taxi ride through paris, listening to the driver mumble profanities at the other drivers, cursing the lights and questioning why someone would park in the middle of the road to deliver a package.

they had never done these things before; they have now. the kids are enjoying the slower and friendlier pace of the europe. they are surprised that the sun stays up longer, with sunlight until nearly eleven at night, people sitting and enjoying the conversations, a coffee or a beer in front of them, smiles and stories flowing.

into this mix a mistake was added, we were on a train from belgium to paris. i had an envelope of tickets in my bag, safely stored above our heads on the baggage shelf. i thought of the need to climb up and retrieve the tickets when the conductor came to verify the tickets. it was a rush hour train, crammed with commuters and tourists; the anticipation of the travel or the fatigue of the earlier trips clearly marking many of the faces. i decided to get the tickets, the first step in the mistake process.

i moved to my bag, found them within the inner zipped pocket and brought them back to my seat. the kids were all sleeping, my daughter leaned over to snuggle on my shoulder; her wild hair falling onto my arm as we shared the limited space of our second class seats. i thought of what to do with the tickets and decided to put them in the cargo net on the back of the seat in front of me. the tickets for this leg of our trip mixed with the tickets for the later trip to enjoy the beach in southern france. leaving these behind would be a major mistake, i need to remember to pick them up before we leave, but of course i will not forget. the next step in the process of mistake complete.

as we pull into gard du nord in paris, we begin to collect our things. the kids wake, we move to pull ourselves together and ensure we leave nothing behind. the train comes to a shuddering stop and people move toward the door, politely forcing themselves though aisles, following signs to the taxi stands or the arms of waiting family.

we found our way to the center of the station, asked for directions to the McClean bathrooms in the basement of the station; where we paid a euro to get through the turnstile and relieve ourselves of the built up pressure from the ride. we went outside and found our taxi for the ride across town to our hotel. we checked in and after looking around the room, begin to unpack. within moments the clarity of the mistake was upon us. calls in english and assisted french, a rushed trip back to the station, broken discussions pushing the limits of my broken french, all with no positive result, the mistake was complete the tickets were gone.

the children were not affected by this, losing our tickets, needing to re-plan the trip on the fly. deciding not to pay for the trip to the south a second time, not to go to the beach, not to show how upset i was with the mistake. we worked together; we found our way out of paris, to a small town in champagne and into memories that were very nice. we then found our way to a comfort zone of less stressful travel schedule. this major mistake, this mistake that could have ruined the trip, that could have caused us to lose the fun of the adventure, ended up being seen as a expensive but positive thing.

we missed the beach, we didn’t get to sleep on the train, but we are relaxing and spending time together. this was the point of the vacation to begin with; keeping that point in mind has helped us deal with the mistake and move forward.

the lesson here is that all mistakes are painful; but most can be fixed by excepting and moving on. having people who love you and who don’t hold your mistakes against you help that recovery. understanding that spending time with the people who love you and accept your mistakes is the key to any recovery.