metro-sexual malaysia

in the past week i have been asked by 3 separate women, “do you like to dance? wait what am i talking about”, “you really do like to wear pink don’t you?” and “you are a woman, aren’t you?”. these questions are not new. i work in a community where social skills, personal hygiene and fashion are not held in high regard. it’s a nearly all male community where scruffy personal appearance is accepted and embraced.

i had times in my life where i fit neatly and comfortably in this camp, more recently i have made an attempt to improve upon what i consider my previously lazy and slovenly ways. when i joined my company i was took over staff both locally (then US) and remote (europe). when you are a new manager, you know when the team is starting to accept you when they begin to include you on email threads that poke fun at another staff member (to them directly of course, otherwise it would be cruel and petty) or the company in general. for me this happened at just about the same time they began to call me a metro-sexual.

i had heard this term, but had never really considered it. it’s a few years later, i am convinced the term has some merit on and if i wasn’t able to be called this before, this past saturday put the last doubts to rest. i think this past weekend held a life event that has changed me.

last week, i was running at lunch time, i know its too hot in malaysia to run in the afternoon, but give me a break, i have a busy schedule and need to make the time. i stopped to stretch my calf and my back tensed up to the point that i could barely breathe. i finished the run but was uncomfortable for the next few days; i just couldn’t get my back to loosen up. i went to my favorite bakery, where someone suggested i try the new spa next door.

when i checked on the place, i found they had a special for RM 138 (or US$ 38), it included a body scrub, hour long massage and a facial. i have had women tell me how good a day of beauty can be, so i thought why not. i really was feeling tense and stressed and needed something to relax me. no one here knew the term “day of beauty” but i was sure ready for one.

i won’t describe the experience in detail; except for saying it was wonderful. it was relaxing, peaceful and more than worth the money. it was three hours of pure pleasure, with no guilt or stress. it was so wonderful i am not sure why it took me so long to try it, and i have no illusions about my level of desire to do it again. i am going to do it as soon as i can.

the experience has brought two questions to mind. the first is, now that i know what this is like, why are more men not doing this? women have simply not made it clear to us how much they enjoy it. not many men, american or malaysian, i know have ever done this, women might have said, you should go for a massage, but not many have told their significant others that they should get a facial. men are generally too “manly” to go to a spa (good marketing change by the way, spas used to be called beauty parlors right?). obviously, the men who won’t go are not of the metro-sexual type, but good for the rest of us, i don’t want them clogging up the schedule anyway.

the second question that comes to mind is, why do women put up with men if they can get treatment like this on a regular basis? other than needing someone around to kill a bug, why would a woman need a man? this is hours of direct attention, by someone who appears to be there only for you and is not trying to get anything more than what they told you they wanted. lying in a dark room having someone wash and gently rub your face, neck and head for 45 minutes is well, enjoyable. how happy would women be if their significant others would give them treatment like this? as far as that goes, i think this gave me insight into spending time with a woman, turn down the lights, make them comfortable, play light music, don’t speak unless absolutely necessary, do nothing that feels rushed or aggressive and don’t expect (or is that allow) any reciprocation.

i don’t see many men here in malaysia who are going to spas for this kind of attention. malaysian men appear to be finding attention, but not in an environment where there is little or no guilt involved. guys, don’t be confused, the spa is not the same as the “health clubs” at the hotels around bukit bingtang. imagine rather than keeping a second apartment and paying for a car, you can to go a spa and simply relax. if you enjoy it, rather than sneaking off you could go with your significant other. the spa i went to does have a couples room, the common male fantasy of watching your girlfriend with another beautiful woman? what if you could have that, and have someone else rubbing your back at the same time. i realize this is a heavy handed sales technique, but look what we are competing with, we need something to motivate them.

as i left the spa, i was told about the hot rocks treatment and other things i can go back for later. i need to ask around and find out what is really good and what i should try next. yes, i wear pink and other strange colors, i do like to dance, i watch romantic comedy and eat chocolates, i am not a woman. i am a man, one that is looking forward to his next visit to the spa.