rubbing buddha

people really don't believe that i do not see myself as too big. i live in a size-obsessed culture where small is expected. it's like the anti-texas here, the PR line would be "everything is smaller in asia". expected is not really a fair way to say this, but husbands can emotionally abuse their beautiful wives if they add a few pounds, while they are keeping thinly strange on the side. like many things in asia, there is a dualism that makes "big" a pejorative as well as an ideal that drives many people to rub the buddha.

yesterday i was getting out of my car to go to an appointment with non-standard malaysians, i was going to spend the next 4 hours semi-publicly exposed and taking multiple forms of abuse. as i was collecting my things a tattooed guy in a hat walked up to me and asked if we were going to the same place. we had a short conversation, and as he walked away he touched my stomach. this used to seem strange, but now i know its just asians way of making a connection. a strange and unsettling one that breaks multiple social taboos.

last year i was walking in beijing, semi-lost in the hutongs of the old city. as i passed a storefront a chinese guy standing in the doorway looked at me and smiled. i hesitatingly smiled back, sensing he was saying something without using words, but not sure i was following the chinese-to-english conversion. as i passed, he must of understood i had missed his point so he used the limited english he appeared to have and said, "ooohhhhhhhhh budddddhhhhaaaaaa". i decided to take it as a complement and kept moving, i glanced back as he smiled and waved. too strange.

but not as strange as the physical contact i have grudgingly become used to. i learned early that in asian culture commenting on someone's weight is acceptable. to be honest i have been called fat in the US, like years ago when a guy selling me running shoes told me, "these are great for the heavy runner". but here in asia, not only am i now used to people passing me a business card for their weight-loss company, i am now used to having my belly rubbed by complete strangers.

this has happened in vietnam, china, malaysia and indonesia. i am not sure if there is a strong buddhist connection, because it has happened in hindu and muslim countries. i don't think its religion, it appears to be pan-asian. men come up to me and touch my stomach. i would be more confortable if they were women, but that would most likely only happen in thailand, and that might be another version of rubbing the buddha entirely.

if i were in the US i would be more concerned, here it feels more like a greeting of respect. its still unsettling every time it happens, but it feels like the other person is bowing to royalty or kissing the godfather's ring. okay both of those sound strange too. it's odd, but then it hit me when i am standing in a store and some guy walks up to me says "oh buddha" and touches my belly, they are tapping into some cultural roots.

from wiki we learn:

budai (布袋; meaning cloth-sack) is traditionally depicted as a fat bald man wearing a robe and wearing/carrying prayer beads. he carries his few possessions in a cloth sack, being poor but content. he is often depicted entertaining children. in folklore he is admired for his happiness, plenitude, and wisdom of contentment and it is believed that rubbing his belly brings wealth, good luck, and prosperity.

happy, shaved, overachieving waist-wise, carrying a bag and smiling; i can see the resemblance. and the new realization that they are not making a move on me in public is reassuring. it's now clear they are simply re-enacting a deeply meaningful cultural belief. it feels good to be identified so strongly with a positive cultural icon. but that brings the question into focus, why are so many people here committed to the less is more camp of life.

happy buddha is a sign of living a good life and is good luck to those who get close. if he is so positive is so many ways, why is the "small is beautiful" camp the only one with support here. you would think the bigger side would have supporters. there are times when less is more, but come on big is beautiful. where is the cultural support for this? why is the thin conformity of the culture so unquestioned?

embrace the plenitude and the wisdom of contentment. stop worrying that you are reaching for someone else's rice bowl, life is better with desert. be asian, keep some of your boundaries and don't think can just reach out and touch any rounded belly you see, but if you find yourself needing some good luck go ahead...

rub the buddha and see if you get lucky.