a few weeks ago i was on a week long trip to a city that i hate. the trip was planned, cancelled, re-planned and finally re-set to a different week. the build up to the trip was one of pending frustration. but the reality was that the frustration never actually came. there were moments that teetered on the edge of a tipping point, but gravity was on my side and we came out unscathed. i spent the final night of the trip nursing a growing head cold while sitting in a hot bathtub. i thought i would make it out of the country without issue.
it wasn't a major issue, but i did learn something about china. all was good until checking-in at the airport. we were there early and i got a chance to sit next to a group of malays returning home after a family trip. sitting on the floor in the airport we talked about life in KL and why they would want to travel to china. they kept apologizing for not having better english, after 5 years in their country i was the one that should be apologizing.
as i checked in and watched my bag go through the scanner, i saw the alarm lights flash rejecting my bags and forcing me to step over the barrier to open my bag. the airline crew suggested they were looking for lighters or aerosol cans that could explode, being a no smoker with no need for hair spray i thought i was in the clear. thats when we found the baton i had in my bag.
the baton is something i have based on age. as i have gotten older, and considering some of the places i allow myself to go, i thought it might be a good idea to have a way to even the odds. i have been questioned about this in the past, but honestly it is purely an insurance policy and not something i really have any need to reach for on a regular basis. to keep the story short, china disagreed with my having it in my bag, i countered that i was leaving the country and was someone else's issue but as we all know, rules are rules in china and they have no ability to see beyond them.
as i walked from ticketing, through passport and security control, into starbucks, past the information booth and finally into the lounge i asked every chinese person i saw, "what is the chinese word for frustration". not a single one of them could tell me the word. they looked at me blankly and had a odd face on. i first thought they simply had been trained to not say or experience the word frustration, one more of the regime's blacklisted terms of censorship gone amok. but it seems that its worse than that, they really did not know the word.
when i got into the lounge, i asked for the word, three women standing there did not know. they asked me to spell it, and used a local translation site to convert the english to mandarin. still they did not know the word. they talked among themselves and finally shook their heads. they asked me to explain the word, which i tried to do. i was frustrated in my attempt, they did not understand the concept.
using wikipedia as a source, we find the definition:
frustration is a common emotional response to opposition. related to anger and disappointment, it arises from the perceived resistance to the fulfillment of individual will. the greater the obstruction, and the greater the will, the more the frustration is likely to be. causes of frustration may be internal or external. in people, internal frustration may arise from challenges in fulfilling personal goals and desires, instinctual drives and needs, or dealing with perceived deficiencies, such as a lack of confidence or fear of social situations.
using google translate to get the chinese you get 挫折 or 挫败 both of which when brought back to english translate as "defeat". so here is the question, do they not teach these words, or do they not have the culturally emotional framework to feel anger and disappointment from resistance to individual will?
yes, i am frustrated that a badly dressed, sadly under bathed, low-level bureaucrat was able to take what i considered a personal possession. i do not see logic of taking something from a checked bag, enforcing a rule as i exit the country (i would have understood on entry), and dislike that there were no options or discussion on the matter. following a stupid rule quietly has never been natural for me, it's frustrating and i would expect others to see that.
it's okay. i know at least one other person there felt frustration. as i continued to try to debate it, the security manager took the baton and threw it in the trash. he started to turn to walk away, but i did not like the way he believed it was the end of the conversation. i also did not want to get maced and taken to a room where i would need to request a visit by the embassy or maybe human rights watch, so i was careful to keep my arms at my side and not move. i did what any parent would tell their kid to do, "use your words".
so as he turned away i said, "you know it's behavior like this that makes someone want a stick to hit someone else in the head with".
he stopped, turned and glared at me. i smiled and started to pack my bag back up. i think i may have taught him a new emotion, he was in that moment frustrated that he could not take my baton and smack me over the head.
it feels good to help others learn.
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