speak slowly

after living in asia for three years, after buying numerous language and phrase books it has become clear that i will always communicate the best in english.  being fluent in another language has not been a goal since college spanish showed me that i had a lack of talent, or focus, to get a new language.  i had hoped to be able to find a second language in asia which i could become functional in.  functional is not fluent, but it would allow me to interact in a polite way, and be culturally sensitive.

i have been improving lately.  i have a dictionary i have been carrying, i am trying to read road signs rather than just looking at the pictures and scanning for english subtitles, i have sat and watched malay shows when the television is mysteriously set to those stations on clean sheet day.  i don't understand it all, but i don't think i would even if i understood all the words.  i do notice that the shows seem more like "father knows best" then "boston legal".

but, no matter how much i improve i still find that at times, speaking and speaking slowly are two different things.  i have been lulled into a comfort zone, one of my own creation.  a few weeks ago i ordered a meal in at KFC, but for the first time i did the complete transaction in malay; and for the first time i got what i wanted without the looks of confusion i am accustomed to.  i have to admit, there were a few words in there that i had no idea on, but i smiled and confidently guessed at the meaning of the words, surprisingly i guessed right and got the meal.

this was on my mind while i drove to the office and after passing my first tool booth with a solid "selamat pagi" i looked down to see the gas gauge on E and the dummy light brightly lit.  the fact that malaysian roads are geared to collecting taxes rather than enabling the driver to stop for gas or caffeine on the way into the office was one of the constant reminders that the US does make life easier than malaysia.  i did the math and decided i could get to the most convenient gas station, the one 20 minutes away in the same town as the office.

as i got to town, doing my favorite U-turn off the high way (that's the design, this country loves it's U-turns they way my home town loves its rotaries) and made the choice to get gas before work so i would not forget and be in the same situation of need on the drive home.  i pulled into the station and walked into pay before pump.  the malay girl in her petronas green and white looked at me as i handed her my RM 100 and said, "sepalau pam".  she looked at me strangely.  damn, i had done it again.  i was trying to say pump 11, and i had said pump ten... ten... sepuluh what did i say?  palau is island, i just asked her to pump one island.  okay do the math, quick she is watching... belas not  puluh.  i looked out the window again to see the number and said, "sebelas, pam sebelas".

the nice girl behind the counter smiled at me and asked me in malay, "awak cakap [something] bahasa malayu [something]?".  i replied "saya cakap bahasa sekit-sekit", opps... another mistake i have made before, i just said "i speak the language very sick, rather than very little.  "ahhh, maaf, cakap sedekit-sedekit".  she smiled again and kept going in malay, this time picking up the pace and going faster.  "[something] [something] berapa lagi malaysia" 

this one i had to take from context, i was struggling to keep up with the early part and was tossing words away as i failed to understand their meaning, but the last part was how long in malaysia, i was sure of that so i replied as quickly as i could.  "tiga hari".  she was moving behind the counter as i said it, she came to a stop to turn and look at me, the other girl turned also with a quizzical look on her face.  i knew i had made a mistake, the first girl switched to english, "three days"?

this time i was embarrassed, i searched for the word.  how often do i say year, it's not really part of my bahasa pasar (market language) vocabulary.  'jam', no that's hours, oh i have it, "tiga tahun".  both expressions changed to understanding.  i was slow but i was trying.  she shockingly started speaking in malay again, but i had lost all confidence.  too many mistakes for one stop at the gas station.  in english i asked her to speak more slowly.  i remembered all the times i have had non-native english speakers tell me i speak to quickly, and i realized that we need the ability to modulate our pace to the skills of the listener.  this must be the skill we have naturally for children, we go slower and use easier words to help them get the new language skills.

they say it's easier to pick up a language when you are a child than as an adult.  i don't think its a natural ability of youth.  it could be the effect of not having a primary language to confuse you with the assumptions you carry from it.  it could also be the lack of another language to fall back on when in need.  this simple conversation would have been learned long ago if no one in malaysia spoke english.  most times even when i start in bahasa, people switch to english so they can practice.  i am left wondering if being polite and functional is a goal at all.

it has been "tiga tahun", and i have not learned bahasa malayu.  but, i have learned that if people wanted me to learn it they would speak it to me slowly enough for me to have a chance.  and if i want to be understood, i should take a second or two more and think about what i am saying.  asking to put money on pump one island rather than pump eleven does confuse things at the gas station. 

so, let's try this again and see if we can all just speak a bit more slowly, regardless of what language we are using.