one more

i was asked by my boss a few months ago if i thought of myself as a workaholic. we were sitting at a table full of guys who work hours, carry pressure and make or execute decisions that burn out many of the former superstars that our company hires each year. the guys around the table are friends, associates, competitors and critics. there is not a single slacker in the bunch, if they were they would not have gotten here or lasted. i answered the question; partially.

a few weeks ago the same boss brought the same team together and said thank you for your efforts last year. we were happy to be able to give you all the cash and stock bonuses that you received two days before. then, the conversation turned to the remaining 10 months of the year. the basic message was, you need to do better, you need to work harder, you need to be more aggressive and provide more leadership. taking a group like this and saying you are not pressing hard enough could seem like a strange message to send. but it worked, things have picked up.

i have been called a workaholic most of my adult life. i don’t really see it that way, but others look at me and tend to sit back and tell me that if i don’t slow down i will never make it to the end of the race. how can you work 60 hours a week, have what reasonably should be two jobs at once and continue to push week by week? how can you do this and not suffer from it?

the trick for me is to never do i job i don’t enjoy. once something stops being fun i leave and find something that is. once i lose the passion to get up and get to the office, or to send that “one more” email that leads to another and another, i simply decide its time to be happy again. family rule number two comes into play and you need to make the call.

i was talking to my ex-wife this morning; she has obviously seen me at my best and worst over the years. she saw me grow a company, win contracts, deliver on projects that no one thought we could accomplish and finally walk away from it all. she has seen me push past the point where i should have broken, she has seen me where i was broken and yet i continued to work. she told me working until 6:30 AM this morning and getting back up at 10:30 was not worth it. it is.

during the meeting a few weeks ago i decided it was time to really take the challenge. if this is what was being asked for, i would give it. i want to succeed, because i have promised people that i like i will be there for them. i have shown them a possible future, now its time to make it really happen. the previous 60+ hours was not enough, it was clear that was true. that only gave me 30 hours per job, and in this environment 30 hours at your job is openly slacker behavior.

i am now working 90+ hours a week, spending about 15 - 16 hours a day in the office, going home and checking email before going to bed, waking up and checking email before i go to work. i am working during the weekend, on things that previously would have stacked up until mid week or later, they are now done by monday morning letting me focus on the work of the week. i have done more phone calls (with people on three continents) in one day than i used to do in a week. its working, with more immediate direction people have been able to move faster and mistakes have been averted.

i have been told by multiple people that i need to cut back, but honestly i feel better than i have in a year. i am more organized, more things are getting done, i am directly involved in almost all the work my staff is doing. i can feel it paying off; i am enjoying the success that comes with being able to cover both jobs fully. it's not hours that burn someone out, it's the realization that you can't succeed.

when i was asked if i was a workaholic, i replied “no…” and before i could finish the sentence, my bosses head was turned to talk to someone else. i thought i saw a glimmer of disappointment at my answer as his head turned; clearly being a workaholic was valued. the rest of the answer was “… i am not a workaholic because i love my job and i am not doing it for the money; i am doing it for the satisfaction”.

i feel more like the mom that stays up late to wash clothes so her kids can have them in the morning. she works while they sleep. that’s what you do for your kids… isn't it?