unexplained love

i have a friend who has a sister married to a guy known as “the pig”, he is vile, but she still loves him. i know another couple where the wife is beautiful and the husband is a sweet guy, but he is clearly much less of a catch than she is. we all know these relationships, one of the people we like, the other we despise, loath or simply feel sorry for. there is a lack of balance, but for some reason the person we like is in love with this other person. we don’t see it and have no idea why they love the person but they do.

as we go through life there are situations where we just can not understand people’s decisions. the talented kid who takes drugs and destroys their future by getting arrested or by allowing the drugs to take their life over or the adult that makes a stupid choice and allows their career, family or future slip away. we can not understand how this occurs, but we have seen it enough times to know that it does.

the hardest is to watch someone love a person who others see is clearly broken, but to understand that they either can not see it, or that they simply choose to ignore how broken and dangerous the person is for them. this may be one more form of self-destructive behavior, or it may be a sense of clarity that those around them can not appreciate. at times it feels like a car accident in slow motion. the viewer simply stands on the side watching the metal preparing to be twisted and flesh to be torn, but is completely powerless to stop it.

the real taboo subject in life is not politics, sex or religion; it is a friend’s dysfunctional relationship. you go to dinner with them, you talk to them, you listen to their spin on life and you want to shake them and tell them they are clueless with their life. you want to do an intervention and stop them from continuing to make the mistake that everyone around them knows they are making, but you don’t. you can’t, it’s not right for you to have an opinion, and if you do it’s relationship suicide to share it with them. no one likes to accept that they are wrong, and in this case maybe they are not.

we can not see or understand the love someone feels for another. we don’t know why they continue to love a person long after they have proven they do not deserve the love. we can not see the situation, or the other person, with their eyes and heart. we simply need to accept that the world is not ours to control. the relationship has to be allowed to move on its own, the players need to make their own decisions.

people can not look inside our hearts; we may not really be able to look inside our own. we love the people we love, we trust the people we trust. we do not completely understand or control these things. why that person makes us feel this way, and another person, one who may deserve the love more, who may be a better fit for us, who may be in the one who would make us happy for ever, does not get that love is a mystery. we do not completely control it, and we could not explain it.

if life were simple we would not have unexplained love, life would be clear and obvious, but it is not, it is weird and complex. life is not simple, love is less simple. we love the people we love. we need to accept and understand that. the people around us need to do the same, and we need to it for them as well.