second shot

i started writing this blog... a long time ago.

i started writing this blog to raise my voice and keep a record.  it gives longevity to thoughts that might otherwise be lost.  i am doing this for me, and for a very select few who i actively want to share with.  i have never thought of this as a forum for general consumption, it is too personal and frankly too boring.  these are the thoughts that bounce around in my head, the posts have given them a vehicle to escape into the wild while also being stored safely for later.  but, mostly, the posts allow half-thoughts to be worked into a completed form, my version of cleaning up a workspace.

my first opening volley was more of an invitation than a thought.  it was the commitment to carry on with a goal.  it may feel like one and a half lifetimes ago, but was truly just a moment at a cross road.  for anyone who has been following, i am warning you now that i am at a cross road again.  i remember hearing that we change every seven years to become a different person, and although i am in the middle of the calendar cycle, change is looming.

i am declaring the close of one phase and the opening of another.  as i sit on a balcony overlooking the south china sea, i am feeling like a nordic athlete soon to be transitioning from skiing to shooting portion of the biathlon.  i know i need to lower my pulse rate before i transition, my legs are tired, i am dripping in sweat and my fingers are tingling with the effects of adrenaline.  it is almost time to stop and focus on the target, the driving effort has to be tempered, so i can take on the shot and avoid a penalty.

if the metaphor of biathlon while hiding in a resort on borneo doesn't work for you, stop reading now.  i am going to write; long, strange and personal, because it is what calms me.  this is my way of settling myself down for the effort.  this is my race, and i want a record of it for later.  i want to be able to look at the tape and see my form as i took that hill.  it's not for others to see me win or lose, but for my inner coach to monitor and remember how i felt on days like today.

this is my second shot, let the new chapter begin.