process driven

my blog entries normally start with a thought. they are things i am mulling over, processing in the back ground as the day goes on. as i consider, or obsess over, a thought i tend to land on a short title. this helps in categorization of the idea. it also lends a shorthand method of thought retrieval. these thoughts almost never come to the foreground to be truly pondered and considered until i sit down to write.

i have been travelling for a month now. i have been to three continents; 5 major cities. i have crossed oceans, moved coasts, missed conferences, written contracts, broken promises, made new friends and accepted that i don’t know loved ones. it’s been a long and tiring month. the thing is that i am more rested and comfortable now than i have been in a while. this year has been intense, exciting and amazingly draining on many levels.

sometimes it’s when you look up and see that you are still standing that you realize you are still in the game. even when you are bone tired, when you have your head down and are listening to your own breathing, thinking how can i keep this up… its then that you pick your head up and realize you are still on the field. better than just being there, you have your team around you and you understand that you can win.

the other thing that can happen is that you realize the other guys are more tired that you are. some may have already dropped out, others are ready to go at the first opportunity. this is where “schedule chicken” comes in; it’s where you have to prove that you can last long enough for them to blink. they might not actually be more tired, but if you hold it together you can win in the end anyway. the way you lose is to show them that you are tired, or to make a dumb mistake that gives them energy. look strong, even when you are tired.

none of my blogs are ever about what i am talking about, not entirely. thoughts are not singular, they are collections of threads. writing, music, art, sports, work, life are all built up over time. all of these are constructed piece by piece, thread by thread, play by play. my writing almost never ends up where i thought it would. life is not like that, it weaves and bobs.

the important thing is to know your requirements. writing for me is to allow me to complete those thoughts. it allows me the time and effort to bring them together and realize the pattern that the threads create. patterns are the things you need to watch, not the threads themselves. if you do watch the threads you lose patterns. pattern recognition, pattern appreciation, is the final skill of understanding.

let your process flow, allow it to take you where it wants to naturally. remember the path of least resistance, consider economy of energy, appreciate the elegance of simplicity. you might find that the threads lead you to a beautiful pattern.