having grown up in an irish catholic family, seeing my father kneel and cross himself as me moved in a church, watching my grandmother say her prayers long after she had lost touch with her family and surroundings i understand what faith is. but also having a natural tendency to question, research, consider and analyze, i have become quite comfortable with the post-enlightenment modernism view of the world. gone are the acceptance of myths that bound society in the classical world. rather modernism replaced myth with an acceptance of the temporal and self-directed, but promising, future that people have when they work, learn and progress without classical ties which bind them to historical answers to questions of life, purpose and morality.
when i moved here i was shocked at the level of myth which is still believed. not only believed, but accepted apparently without being questioned. added to this is a level of connection to the family which is becoming uncommon outside of rural or possibly cult-like groups in the west. mature adults in asia have told me that they would not be allowed to do things like, get divorced, have a tattoo, emigrate for work or education, or even go on a weekend away because of the way their parents would feel about it. when asked how my mother felt about me moving half way around the world, her second child to do so, she said, “well, what can you do, he is going to do what he thinks is best, no matter what we say”. i smiled when i heard that, thinking my mother respected my ability to choose my life.
but i have questioned how malaysia keeps its people believing the myths, and not questioning the word or authority of their elders for so long. some adults do have lives their parents know nothing about, or may suspect but would never ask details about for fear of being told. many more than in the west simply will not act in ways which would upset their parents. they do it out of respect; and fear. they believe their parents are entitled to make decisions for them, and to be believed when they tell them what is right and wrong. this got me thinking about where this is lost in the western world.
how do our children learn to become independent of thought? how do they learn do become open and possibly vocal about their desires, when people here stay quiet and under the influence of the parents? i was thinking about my youngest son a few weeks ago, i was reflecting on his ability to manage up in his relationships with parents. this is not only me, but his mother and other parent-like replacements that are in his life. he and his siblings have learned to be read between the lines, and have a more active interaction with the adults around them.
when is the first time that our children begin to feel the ability to manage the relationships with the adults in their lives? i have decided it is the same time that they realize the adults are lying to them about things. for western children this comes during their early youth, just after entering school, when they learn from classmates that santa does not exist… the myth is broken, and the children see the conservative conspiracy that was put in place to help them continue to believe the myth. not only are the parents found to have lied to them, but grandparents, teachers, the media … almost all adults in their life are now brought into question. there is an understanding that adults lie, the same people who have taught them that lying is bad, are now found to be those lying about the things that mean the most to them.
the fact that santa is a pseudo-religious symbol, actually a saint in some but not all western countries, is not lost on the child either. this apparent crack in the façade of religion is later reinforced a few months later when the now questioning child calls the other pseudo-religious mythical holiday symbols into question… saint valentine and then the easter-bunny are the next myths to fall to this new ability to question and accept the falsity of myth. the three pseudo-religious symbols are all debunked by the child, who is quickly enlisted in the conspiracy and told they do not want to spoil it for the younger (or is it more naïve) children.
at least within the us, the remaining holidays are largely without myth. halloween, is a time for everyone to dress up, so yes it is built on deception (or extortion) but the children are let in on the secret early on and is not upset by this. although holloween could be seen as the distraction which helped to eliminate “all saints day”, which is the day after halloween, a day most american's completely ignore.
the turkey associated with thanksgiving is presented to the child crispy and ready to be eaten, so there is no lie there. other than the false fact that the pilgrims landed in pymouth… they actually landed and spent the summer months in truro. yes the pilgrims had spent their first summer in the america on the cape, just down the road from the future provincetown… a place with very little deception… my kids knew the judy garland on skates handing out fliers to the cabaret was an xy even before they knew santa was false.
so, the root of the stability malaysian society holds on standard family values is the lack of connection to the santa and easter bunny myths. malay kids have no example of parents caught red handed in conspiratorial disregard for the truth. this allows the parents to hold onto myths and reinforce them much longer than is possible in the west. without the ability to catch a parent in a lie, the child and then adult is kept in the belief of myth cycle…. (hey, it’s a theory that appears to make sense).
now… given it so clearly damages not only the family cohesion, but the ties to conservative society and belief in religion in general… we need to consider who the backers of all of these myths really are. in the secular society of the west, we realize that all three myths are truly propagated by the commercial interests of big business. selling holiday cards, candy and all things gift worthy during christmas is the post-myth acceptable relationship with these holidays. secularism is supported by the understanding that the religious backing of these holidays are if not completely false, than highly questionable.
the question of course becomes… is santa then a conspiracy within a conspiracy. the revelation that santa and his cousin myths so clearly damage the tie in the west between person and belief, turning it into a purely secular and consumer based event… is it possible that this was the sinister goal from the very beginning. is santa a patsy, a fall-guy, meant to expose the deeper myths propagated by the church and other conservative groups in the pre-enlightenment era? is the vast right-wing conspiracy of the holidays a carefully constructed and amazingly executed sinister left-wing conspiracy to expose myth in general? to teach the west that myth both in religion and family are so clearly false that even an 8 year old can see though them.
malaysia has been lucky to largely avoid this exposure by being off the radar of the consumerism of the west. but as malls expand here, and consumerism takes an ever deeper hold on the society, it is only a matter of time.
malaysian children, in order to complete in the world, will soon be the unfair target of learning, knowledge and the ability to analyze when adults are lying to them. how will the society, so clearly requiring the unquestioned belief in elders survive such a vicious and evil assault?
protect your family, your children and your society. ban bad santa.
Posts
