management psychology

a few months ago i was in a cafe when one of my employees came in. he is a friend, so rather than sitting across the restaurant and waving, he came over and sat with me. he had his sister with him and as we talked she mentioned her masters program, she is getting a degree in management psychology.  since that day i keep flashing to that moment and wondering if i need to look into the program to better understand my staff, my organization or the world.

the past two weeks have been about reviewing the previous 51. this weekend is the deadline to complete the documentation of those reviews. as i sit in a cafe typing this, i am waiting for the site we use for that documentation to return from scheduled maintenance. it is down during my daytime to ensure it impacts the fewest people. being on the opposite side of the world makes my impact acceptable. as i wait, i agree with that assessment, but the mounting frustration still remains.  thoughts on management linger.

wiki defines management as:

the act of getting people together to accomplish desired goals and objectives. management comprises planning, organizing, staffing, directing, and controlling an organization (a group of one or more people or entities) or effort for the purpose of accomplishing a goal.

management is part of all of our lives, we do it within the family, in workplaces and within ourselves. to think of management as something that only true managers do is a narrow view that misses the universal nature of the act. the key to the above definition is "getting people together to accomplish desired goals". the first time i saw genuine management was in a locker room almost 30 years ago; a typical amercian setting with a typical american management style.

it was the night of my first varsity football game, and the excitement of being on the big field was what i remember.  i was a junior member of the team and would see no playing time that night, but i was there and i was happy. the fact that the team was not winning was not as important to me, i had made it onto the team and i was reveling in the experience.

coach toppa was last into the locker room at half time, he and the other coaches had stopped outside as the players filtered in and found spots to sit. some of the senior player removed their helmets and shoulder pads to be more comfortable, but those of us new to the team stayed in full uniform.  we kept our helmets on to show everyone we were ready to play; comfort be damned. as coach came into the room, he kicked an empty helmet that skittered across the room. this was the first time i witnessed this legendary leader of men use violence to get their attention.  everyone in the room was now looking at him.

coach allowed his frustration to flow as he spoke, he allowed every person in the room share his frustration, and fostered a feeling of guilt for forcing him to have this conversation. the team was not playing as well as he knew we could play, he may have been 60 years old, but he would have suited up and joined the game if he could.  he could not understand why those who could play were not. he did not understand how we allowed ourselves to fail. as he spoke, the excitement of being next to the field was replaced with a desire to be on the field. almost helping was not enough, i wanted to actively make a difference, i was a failure for just being there, i should have been helping us win. i was ashamed and angry at myself.

that was when coach changed the tone of his message, he turned to what we could each do to solve the issue, we could come together as a team, then we could go back out there and win the game. that is what would make him proud of us, and nothing else was going to help us feel better. 70 vikings rushed the field as one, some got to actually play, but we were all fully in the game during the second half. we rallied and won the game. together we proved to toppa and to ourselves that we could.  those moments set the tone for the rest of the season, and in many ways for every game i have played since.

i was awed that day, i knew coach was performing as he spoke, but it was a great performance that raised the team up. coach motivated us to win that day. he managed us, he brought us together to accomplish our goal. he used psychology to do it; the planning, organizing and staffing was over. he needed to go beyond the plan to give us the need to win.  being happy to be there was not enough, we needed to accomplish our goals as a team.

i have been thinking about this and wondering if those skills can really be taught. is being a leader something you go to graduate school to learn, or can you do by continuing to play? does it help to do it with different teams, each having different needs? does being forced to use non-amercian motivation help someone first awakened by the only in america sharp sound of a kicked helmet crashing into a locker?

toppa was a great coach. he taught three generations of players to be the better than they knew they could be. he did it with small players who learned to play big, making them proud to be on the field.  he did it by managing each team of individuals, to come together and share a goal. he taught us to care enough to work as a team.

being on the field mattered, but winning mattered more. that is a management psychology i will never forget.

personal best

i was talking to a friend yesterday. it was a day that we were both taking it slow, getting away from work and just recovering from the past few months. we were discussing work, society, opportunity and design. he wants to take more on, and i want to see him grow. knowing there is potential and that pushing forward will get you there is really important to a type-A personality. during the conversation i started to wonder when it was that i came to the reality that continuing to work even when you are far behind is worth it.

i came up with 7th grade. the year i joined the track team, the time that i learned that you are not running against your competition, but you are running against yourself and the clock. to admit this in the kindest manner possible, i was not a natural runner when i started. i am a swimmer and a cyclist by nature, these are the sports i enjoy. sure both make me wonder if i am going to die at times, being a half mile off shore, with waves breaking over my head and realizing that i am too tired to make it back to the beach does bring the reality of drowning front and center. i haven’t drowned yet, my chest hasn’t exploded climbing a hill, but i do wonder at times.

when i started running track the pain of 440s over and over was brutal. i wanted to quit, i wanted to give up because it was just too much effort for something was supposed to be fun. but i decided to stay one more week. i had friends next to me; they would smile when i crossed the line not laugh, the smiles kept me there. a few weeks later i realized i was getting better, my times were dropping and i was getting ahead of my friends. the ability to improve took the pain away, now the pain was worth it because as i got better the pain came with winning. i learned that winning takes the pain away.

over the years i have done other sports, some i was a natural at they fit my personal mix of size, speed and pain tolerance. i have done individual sports and team sports. i have done sports for myself and for others. i have enjoyed some, and hated a few, but other than wind surfing i have never really given up without trying hard enough to learn to enjoy them. (i can sail, i can surf, i can’t do them at the same time)

the way i have done this is to accept that sure, i suck at this sport. it hurts, and i am not enjoying this right now. but if i give up i will never get good at this. if i keep going i will get a little better than i am now, and i can call that a victory. using the personal best method, i can measure myself and then work to beat that. forget about the other guy, most of the time he is happy he is in the lead and will think it’s his place to own. if i focus on him, i keep losing. if i focus on me… i can win almost every time, until i get to the point where i am closing in, that’s when i can change the focus and make him the personal best goal.

i said yesterday that malaysia needs to have its kids doing track and field. track is a simple sport, cheap as shorts, t-shirt and sneakers; easy to do in warm climates. i had visions of malaysians crossing the finish line in boston; arms up in victory. the nigerians made distance running their sport, they proved that hot and dusty countries that have limited resources and smaller kids who need a sport without contact can excel at track.

i was also thinking the country would benefit from teaching its kids that competition is useful, that pushing through the pain, that being measured by a clock are good things. if you’re not willing to measure yourself, how can you get any better? there is no way to improve against the clock if you don’t have a clock running. being as good as you are, and being happy with that just means that you can never compete outside your little comfortable world.

i listened to my daughter this morning excited that her picture was in the local newspaper. she is on the front-page for swim team. i remember the first season that she swam, long ago in her youth. she wanted to quit because she thought she wasn’t any good. we explained it wasn’t that she needed to be good, it was that she needed to enjoy it. she has grown up over the years, and has moved from lane to lane improving every step along the way. she told me about a race where she was against two swimmers who made regional; she got lapped and came in third but she was happy with that.

she was making a point that the team the two swimmers were from was very good. she said, “do you know their team record for the 500 free?” . i paused and answered, “4:40”. she paused and said, “4:44, how did you know that, you were only off by 4 seconds”. she wanted to know if that was my personal best. i laughed, not even close.

but i used to swim and i know what “good” swimmers can do. i don’t need to beat them, i just need to close the gap.