planning distraction

i had a trip planned a few weeks ago, but it was cancelled at the last minute. this has left a space of freedom in my near future, and the sound of "mind the gap" has been heard deep in the coming trouble areas of my subconscience. i can sense the train is coming, but i am questioning if this is the station i should be in. i feel like i should be somewhere else, the english country side, safely tucked in, rather i have this image of the train station scene of american werewolf in london. could it be that a bad moon arising?

i am sitting in my third cafe of the day, waiting for a salted beef and thinking about what i am going to do with myself when i am left to my own devices. i thought about another quick trip, to a beach to listen to the waves, but i also have an invitation to a wedding. it's strange that someone else's commitment has an impact on my freedom of movement and expression. rather than digging for my swimsuit, i am considering the need to dry clean my other new suit from vietnam.

even if i do know what i would rather be doing, there are limits to the amount of distraction one can enjoy in a short time. rather than two weekends, i have two peri-weekend nights that i may or may not have fully free. if recent history holds true, both of these nights will have other commitments which i might want to blow-off, but will elect to be a good boy and do the right thing. what was that saying in the shining? all work and no play makes jack a dull boy.

dull boy i have become, i should be able to plan distractions for myself and i am not able to do it. i can imagine it, i have the playful and cheeky side to exercise, but i can not visualize the end result. i can hear the philosopher/golfer in caddy shack, ty webb, giving me the advice "be the ball"... wait how does that entire quote go?

ty webb: I'm going to give you a little advice. There's a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball.

maybe thats the advice i need, stop thinking and just let things happen. no, how can that be a good idea. to enjoy life you need to plan right? i just need to figure out what it is that i want.

i know, i am going to go to the video store and hope they have what i really need. movies with jack, chevy chase, bill murray. in addition to the ones above that sound like a great way to hide at home, maybe i can add in stripes, and if god loves me, fletch. i am not sure why i feel such an urge for movies from the 80's about wiseass guys being annoying to those around them, but clearly i am. if i can't find these movies, i must have a copy of road trip at home already.

yeah, those are the distractions i need. it's good to have a plan.